22 Sep

Are you in Transition?

Going through transitionCould you be going through a transition? This morning whilst journaling I arrived at an epiphany.
For the last few days, I have felt a bit low. The best way to describe it is having spent months climbing to the top of a mountain, staying there and enjoying the view, I suddenly awoke at the bottom of another mountain. I am reluctant to climb again and I feel deflated. I would rather turn back and go home.
I understood as I wrote that I have come to the end of one journey and I am reluctant to begin the next phase. I also admitted to myself that my reluctance stems from 2 reasons.
1) I want to absolve myself of the responsibility of delivering the picture I have in my mind to the world.
2) I don’t want to go through the stress of climbing like I did previously. I just want to stay and enjoy the view.
Here’s how I got out of it. I recognise now that the last few months have been about gathering the tools and weapons needed for this new phase. I am not the same person, I have grown. I am experienced, mature and equipped to travel this new path.
If you are on the verge of starting something new, don’t stall. Start. You are ready. The last few years/months have been about this new phase. You have gathered all that you need to not only survive but to thrive as well. That picture you have of your future- it is your responsibility to deliver it. Just like it is a mother’s responsibility to bring into the world the baby she is carrying in her womb. No matter how painful labour is, she has to give birth. The last nine months were all about her body stretching and preparing for the process of birthing, emotionally and spiritually she was also being prepared. No one can nurture her child like she can. In the same way, no one can nurture your dream like you can.
Furthermore, this new journey will be nothing like the last. It is not a repetition of past challenges. This is a brand new season for a brand new you to seize. On the subject of repetition, I learned years ago to stop looking back and joining the dots of my previous challenges. Choose instead to see each one as separate and unrelated, yet they all have been sent to train and equip you for where you stand today.

Finally, celebrate the end of the last journey. Mark it so that your spirit, soul, and body recognise that

it is finished. Transition is a phase in itself and time and energy need to be allocated to it.

his morning whilst journaling I arrived at an epiphany.
For the last few days, I have felt a bit low. The best way to describe it is having spent months climbing to the top of a mountain, staying there and enjoying the view, I suddenly awoke at the bottom of another mountain. I am reluctant to climb again and I feel deflated. I would rather turn back and go home.
I understood as I wrote that I have come to the end of one journey and I am reluctant to begin the next phase. I also admitted to myself that my reluctance stems from 2 reasons.
1) I want to absolve myself of the responsibility of delivering the picture I have in my mind to the world.
2) I don’t want to go through the stress of climbing like I did previously. I just want to stay and enjoy the view.
Here’s how I got out of that state of mind:
I recognise now that the last few months have been about gathering the tools and weapons needed for this new phase. I am not the same person, I have grown. I am experienced, mature and equipped to travel this new path.
If you are on the verge of starting something new, don’t stall. Start. You are ready.  If you were not ready you wouldn’t be standing here right now. The last few years/months have been about this new phase. You have gathered all that you need to not only survive but to thrive as well. That picture you have of your future- it is your responsibility to deliver it just like it is a mother’s responsibility to bring into the world the baby she is carrying in her womb. No matter how painful labour is, she has to give birth. The last nine months were all about her body stretching and preparing for the process of birthing, emotionally and spiritually she was also being prepared. No one can nurture her child like she can, in the same way, no one can nurture your dream like you can.
Furthermore, this new journey will be nothing like the last. It is not a repetition of past challenges. This is a brand new season for a brand new you to seize. On the subject of repetition, I learned years ago to stop looking back and joining the dots of my previous challenges. Choose instead to see each one as separate and unrelated, yet they all have been sent to train and equip you for where you stand today.

Finally, celebrate the end of the last journey. Mark it so that your spirit, soul, and body recognise that it is finished. Transition is a phase in itself and time and energy need to be allocated to it.

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27 Apr

Pedestals

Each week I respond to the call from The Teacher to learn a new lesson. I believe we are surrounded by lessons. However, we are not always ready or willing to learn them, Consequently, the call to learn may be made several times for days or even weeks until we respond. I happen to fall into the camp of those who need to be called out to a few times before responding.

imageLast week’s lesson was on Pedestals. Specifically placing people on pedestals. A bit random if you ask me as most lessons tend to have a related theme and one leads to the other. For example, one week I may be learning about fear and the following week the lesson will be about self-worth. Then I’ll understand that my fear of man is borne out of not having sufficient regard for my own value.

Back to Pedestals.

Nuff said.
God on a Pedestal.
“O LORD, there is no one like you. We have never even heard of another God like you! What other nation on earth is like your people Israel? What other nation, O God, have you redeemed from slavery to be your own people? You made a great name for yourself when you redeemed your people from Egypt. You performed awesome miracles and drove out the nations that stood in their way.”
‭‭1 Chronicles‬ ‭17:20-21‬ ‭NLT‬‬

So there you have it, my thoughts on pedestals. I’d love to hear yours!

 

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28 Feb

Slaying the Dragon: Analysis Paralysis

img_0734.jpgThis weekend found me doing some soul searching which extended from the pages of my journal to Facebook. I asked a question- rather I shared a status update:

“I have a tendency to overthink & over plan on a new idea until I over analyse myself out of it and it never takes off. Does anyone else do this? #insideoutliving”

Thankfully it turned out I’m not alone and have some wonderful friends who shared their thoughts too. Saturday was spent thinking about and analysing the subject and by the end of the day I had clarity. I understood the process that led to my being overwhelmed in this manner, but it wasn’t until this morning I discovered the ‘why.’

I ‘compare up’ and it kills my motivation. I read a blog post by Valorie Burton that explained three motivation killers. The first one was comparing oneself to others who you perceive to be more successful. Now, I rarely compare myself to others because I have a sound understanding that we are all unique and different, we do things differently which yields varying results; rather I tend to spend time finding out why I do the things I do and that is what helps me make progress. So while this point did not directly apply to my problem, it shed some light on it. I compare up. I compare the start of my dream or goal to the end product. A bit like taking a piece of metal and planning to build a Ferari. Then you become paralysed because you cannot possibly imagine how your piece of metal will one day become one of the world’s fastest cars. I shared in my last post about perfect being the enemy of good. This still shows up for me from time to time. For instance, I read a very good novel written by a friend. I enjoyed it thoroughly and was to take a selfie and post a review. I decided that wasn’t good enough. I would blog about it instead. 3 weeks later I have no selfie, no review & no blog- because I feel a blog does it more justice. Now as I iterated, everyone is different so these solutions are based on my personality as I know it, but like my Facebook friends, you may find it applies to you too.
Here’s my way forward:

Plan. No, I’m not a natural born planner. I tend to dive in and enjoy the thrill of not knowing what comes next. One of several reasons why planning is important is that you become aware of what lies ahead- the many steps, so you are under no illusions of how it will play out.  I started to implement planning in some areas of my life last year and one way to do so is to schedule time to do the planning. It’s not enough to plan while driving or while doing the dishes or watching TV. We tend to accord more importance to some things than others, for instance we’ll plan our holiday but we won’t take time to plan what a hairstyle we want to have. It then plays like a tennis game at the back of your mind- braid or weave, braid or weave?

Throw in the obstacles Of course it would be ideal if everything was smooth sailing, but we don’t live in an ideal world. We need to brainstorm obstacles and add a work around should they occur. That way there are no nasty surprises that’ll cause us to jump ship halfway into the project.

Celebrate your Milestones. I’ve heard this often but until you know where the milestones are you will not have much to celebrate. Picture the journey as a long drive on the motorway with service stations. The service stations are your milestones where you get refreshed. If you never even planned your journey you’ll not get there. You’ll be busy driving around in circles in town, busy and apparently working towards something- just not your goals.

Be Present in the Moment. Another expression of our time that only started to mean much to me recently. My tendency stemmed from being so obsessed with the end that I saw the middle as a chore. I was in a race with only one thing in mind- to finish. I did not care about the steps, I enjoy starting, I love finishing, but that middle bit is a drag. Being present in the moment requires us to change our thinking, that each step is meaningful and just as important as the first and the final. We are to accord the same honour to each of our steps, and not call one more important than theother. At the beginning of the project make a pact to celebrate every single step; to treat each one as wholly important, because without it you can’t get to the end.

Be Kind to Yourself. Someone said we treat others better than we treat ourselves. We don’t yell and berate people who make a mistake but we do it to ourselves. My theme this year is inside out living, I’ll share more on that soon. In a nutshell my focus is more on my inside than my outside. I believe that if the inside, the soul is thriving, so will the body. Being kind to ourselves mean being patient, forgiving, loving and nurturing of oneself.

I hope this has shed some light on a similar issue you may be having, do share your thoughts on how you’ve slayed this dragon! Thank you for reading.

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27 Dec

Lessons 2015 Taught Me

IMG_0603.JPG2015 has come to an end, it has been an amazing year! Not that I achieved all I hoped for, I didn’t, rather it is because of the fabulous lessons I learned which have opened my eyes to limitless possibilities. The last 2 years had me all gung ho about authenticity, it was even the subject of the last brunch. Going deeper into that lesson I uncovered some traits that restrict my progress on that journey.

1) Perfectionism is the Enemy of Good.

I discovered it was this trait that held me back from unpublished posts and many unattempted or unfinished tasks. It told me what I wanted to share or speak about wasn’t quite ready, it could be better. It suggested I hold on until an undefined time which really was, never. Perfectionism is linked to inauthenticity. It is the fear that a part of you will be rejected because it is less than perfect. Oftentimes the lesson is in the message and it speaks loud and clear; it really doesn’t require flowery words or embellishments for its meaning to be heard. As a creative person, I cannot afford to be hindered by that. Creativity hasn’t got a scale as the only one who knows when it’s ready is you. So any inner voices claiming it isn’t good enough when you know you’ve done your best are simply misleading you.

2) We Don’t Need Permission

I discovered this trait while journaling. It showed up again when my oldest son and I were preparing the turkey for roasting. Last year we stuffed oranges into the cavity after marinating as we came across a recipe that called for that. The citrus juices burst into the turkey and adds another mouthwatering layer of flavour. This year I forgot to buy oranges but we had apples yet when Aaron suggested we put whole apples in, I felt the need to confer with Google and check if it is the ‘done thing’. At times when writing or designing I stall because what I’m about to present is uncommon, hasn’t been done or said before and I feel it’s too lonely a road to throw it out there and walk by myself. I learned this year that we are uniquely created and we all have original ideas and creative expressions. It is a sign of inauthenticity if you try to make your creativity appeal to everyone, rather than simply letting the truth of what it is flow out naturally.

3) Stop Seeking Approval

Similar to the above, this happens after you’ve shared your thoughts or creation. You wait holding your breath, praying you are celebrated and recognised. A sign that you don’t have confidence in the uniqueness of your own gift. A common way this shows up is in judging your work by how many likes on Facebook or retweets on Twitter you get.

4) Feed your Soul

I recognised and honoured my soul’s yearning to be contained in a beautiful space. Not only do I need to look after my body so it is healthy and beautiful, I also need to make sure my environment feeds my soul. I need to live in a beautiful and inspiring space. Anything that does not serve that purpose is being tossed out as I come across them. I have some interior design projects lined up for my home For some that may extend to unhealthy relationships that drain, TV programs you watch or even your place of work.

5) Practice Alignment

Another huge lesson I learned (still very much in progress) is alignment. I’ll be sharing that in due course, but for now I’ll say this; for there to be order in my life, my spirit must be connected to God, where it receives the desires of the Holy Spirit, my soul is then given those desires which is where the believing and the feeling and the imagination goes on, as well as the exercising of the will, the soul then tells the body to carry out the required action. We face internal and external conflict when all three are misaligned, working towards different goals or when the hierarchy is disturbed. A very simplistic example is this. You have been gifted with a heart that cares about social injustice. But you harbour hatred towards other races or classes.

6) Renew your mind

I learned to change the way I think. Having battled with unsavoury thoughts like we all do, from fear and anxiety to discouragement and mental exhaustion, I found out that it is futile to address each individual thought. We process millions of thoughts daily from a myriad of sources, it is impossible to sit with each one to dissect and throw out the bad and embrace the good. Since the mind is the seat of our thoughts, how about we work on it instead? A scripture verse says renew your minds. That’s what I’ve been doing. Regular cleansing and renewing of the mind makes it harder for unsavoury thoughts to sneak in unnoticed.

I’ll share more lessons over the coming months as I learn them. The posts are divided into Spirit, Soul & Body and I tend to share lessons I have learned personally, not through books I have read- unless specified.

I hope your year has been fabulous- the fact that you’re alive reading this means that it was, for if we have no life there is no hope of things ever changing or getting better. If 2015 was your annus horibbilis, you are alive to learn lessons the pain brought with it, and use them as guiding principles in the coming year.

This year, I plan on staying open to lessons of life hidden in our day to day experiences. I won’t have resolutions per se, rather I’ll be sticking with guiding principles to help me navigate my way. I send you lots of love and encouragement to finish this year resolving to unearth your own traits and tools as opposed to searching everywhere else but inside you.

How about you? What lessons did you learn this year? Do you set resolutions or just go with the flow?

2015-02-17-08.49.37.jpg

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17 Dec

What to do instead of complaining

I got inspired to share this after I took on a project that wasn’t a good fit for me.  It was a simple project that was worth my while only if I set boundaries on just how far it stretched.  A bit like someone offering you £50 to drop off their child at school as you drop off yours, a one off event that doesn’t take you off course, but then they overstep their boundaries by later asking you to also collect the child and take said child home. You know you’re not a child minder but it’s a small task that you can fit in. You just didn’t bargain for added tasks and you can of course say no.

I found myself complaining about the project, even though I knew fully well what I was getting into. It was similar to a friend’s job situation. She needed a job desperately and took the first one she was offered to meet her immediate needs. Her plan was to leave after a few months as soon as she was back on her feet but 3 years later she is still there. And she spends a lot of time hating and moaning about the job, from the salary to her boss and the actual work at hand.

Here are the lessons I gleaned from both our stories:

1) People are entitled to make any offers or requests, they have a right to pay what ever they feel like for a role, you reserve the right to turndown the offer and move on.

2) Should you decide to take up the offer because of a single benefit in the grand scheme of things, for instance out of the 10 slices of the cake only one is palatable to you, don’t give your time and energy towards complaining about the other 9 that don’t serve your purpose. That is not why you took on the job. You did not accept the job because you wanted a good boss in your life, you accepted it because of an immediate financial need. Focus on making sure your slice meets that need while you work your plan for something better.

3) Set boundaries and stick to it. Your boundaries may be tasks, time or how much of yourself you’re prepared to give up. Don’t get comfortable and lazy thereby forgetting this was a temporal fix to a pressing need. Don’t try to fit your dreams or your tastebuds around the other 9 slices you are not there for.

4) listen to your soul. If your soul is unhappy, you may have overstayed your welcome. Move on. Dedicate your energy towards getting out as quickly as you can rather than trying to force your soul to be happy.

If you’re in a situation you’re unhappy with take some quiet time to evaluate why and how you got there. No longer serving your needs? It’s time to move on. It’s just one life.

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04 Sep

Your Reality vs The Truth

I was recently reminded about an incident that happened in December 2013. It involved Justine Sacco, the then communications director for the major media company, IAC.

You may remember the story. Justine tweeted an insensitive, racist comment minutes before boarding a 12-hour flight to South Africa;


“Going to Africa. I hope I don’t get aids. Just kidding I’m white”

Unfortunately for Justine this single tweet, a single flame of fire if you will, was lit too closely to Buzzfeed, Internet news giant and mother of all viral news. Within minutes, the tweet went EVERYWHERE. Her company released a statement and to cut a long story short she set her career ablaze- as in she burned it to the ground. The hashtag #hasjustinelandedyet trended as ‘the world’ waited with bated breath, thirsty for the moment she arrived in South Africa. You see Justine had absolutely no clue what was happening on the ground in the 12 hours she was aboard the flight. If she had flown emirates things may have panned out differently but that’s beside the point.


The point is this, Justine’s reality during those 12 hours was very different from the truth. As far as she was on board, she was the PR exec of her company. She had a high-powered job and was enroute to cover a story. She was literally on top of the world. On the ground- where it mattered, she was not a PR exec. She was a former PR exec. She was despised, she no longer had colleagues at the company she worked for. She was now known by ordinary people who wouldn’t have cared too hoots about her previously. Someone even went to the airport to record her reaction the moment she turned on her phone, hooked up to wifi and discovered her new reality.

 Your reality is often very different from the truth. When we go through trials we are convinced of our current situation being the reality. Our emotions and thoughts are a perfect expression or rather a confirmation of the bad news we have received. They confirm that our dire circumstance is the reality. But the truth is very different. If someone on that aircraft had access to the news and alerted Justine her flight would have been very different. She would have carried out damage control, perhaps started updating her cv and dusting off her old contact list. maybe even kept her job.

 

If someone could show you the true picture of your situation, you may feel different about your present circumstance. Perhaps you’d put in more effort into your studies or your work. You may carry on and not quit. You may walk with your head held high and not hang it low. You may even take your eyes off you and extend a kind hand to those who need help and support, or start to treat your spouse better.

 

The word of God says
“He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armour and protection.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

His faithful promises are your armour and protection. It is His promises that are the reality, not what our emotions tell us. So the next time you go through a trial, cover yourself with the armour of his promises. That, dear friend, is your reality.

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23 Aug

The Race

“Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.” ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6:4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The outcome of my race is dependent on my effort alone, not the effort of others.

A professional sprinter does not run forward while looking back. The outcome of their race has everything to do with the effort they are putting into it, and not what the competitor is doing.

When Oprah started the Oprah Winfrey show decades ago, her staff  often times  shared  with her in a panic about what the other talk show hosts were doing and how they needed to switch gears too. She eventually told them to stop looking at others and focus wholly on their own show. And it worked.

Looking back depletes energy which should be devoted to your work. Seeing how close the competition is, or how unique and different they are may cause you to question the value of your work or life, it may discourage you and/or fill you with questions. Questions about whether or not you are doing things properly. You may then abandon your plan, or alter it to look ‘right’. My takeaway? My race is dependent on my effort alone, not the effort of others.

A word on Relative Success:

Using someone else’s progress as a benchmark for yours. Humans are competitive in nature and if you grew up in a culture where high achievement in education is celebrated and failure mocked, you may have a tendency to carry on trying to be the top of the class. There’s a difference between trying to rise to the top, and trying to be at the top of the class. In a classroom of mediocre, failing students there will be one in the lead, granted in a different setting they’ll be at the bottom but still, being at the top of the class isn’t necessary a success indicator. It may mean you are the least mediocre. A bit like the proverb, ‘in the village of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.’

The scripture says pay attention to your own work, not to the work of everyone else in class. The top student in the failing class may never know just how behind he really is academically because his standard is so low. In the same way, you may never know just how successful you could become if your standard is the guy next to you. When you pay attention to your own work, you’ll receive instruction and guidance from The Teacher, the counsellor, the one who guides you into all truth.  God’s standard becomes your standard. In addition your energy and time will be focused on your goal, not the goal of others.

When you think about it, you should really be confident enough in your own plans without checking back to make sure the competitor approves of it. There is a time to look and see their strategy, but that’s in the planning phase, not the running phase.
One final thing to look out for is competing with non-competitors. We can sometimes get into duel mode with innocent bystanders who are simply doing their thing. Just because they’re in close proximity to you does not mean they’re in a race with you.

I encourage you to be mindful to take your eyes off others and focus on your own work,  your own life goals.

Have an awesome week!

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23 May

Taking off my (Drama Queen) Crown

What was your reaction the last time someone made you mad, really mad?

DRAMA-QUEEN

I’ll tell you about mine. And no, not the nail shop episode. Please believe me when I say I rarely get angry and when I do, I don’t express it. And if I can’t hold it in I’ll only share it with a select few who will assist me in the gathering my common sense back together .

I made a business arrangement recently with a company. I checked and confirmed  the terms, both in writing and verbally. I made my position very clear and confirmed theirs to make sure we were all on the same page before agreeing to proceed. Years ago I learned that it is best for partners to know at the outset, exactly how far you are willing to go; that way you are not faced with nasty surprises halfway into the project.

So when they were to carry out their first project, they changed their terms. I was livid. I called 2 friends and also called hubby to rant. I was all the way in Essex so  it pained me that I couldn’t rant in person. The rest of my day was coloured with the incident and I vowed to my army of supporters that I would write the baddest, meanest email to them, then call and blast them over the phone and finally pass the job to a company with more integrity.

The following day I had calmed down sufficiently to string more than two expletives together. No, I don’t use swear words but if  I did that would have been the perfect time to. The email was very harsh, articulate but harsh. It took a whole week for them to respond and when it came their email began with..Dear Toks, I was very saddened to learn….

Now I hate to be the cause of anyone’s sadness, so I started to feel guilty and rethink my response to the situation.

The last couple of weeks have had me being schooled on emotions. I’ve been learning how to express the right emotions at the right times. It is important to stop your emotions from running things, rather you should have a handle on what emotions are used and when. Resorting to words like ‘outrageous‘, ‘absolutely disgusted‘ and ‘simply livid‘ all because of some bedding and a company that changed their minds about an agreement is a bit over the top- wouldn’t you agree? I had to ask myself what my choice of words would be in the truly unfortunate event of a gruesome murder.

By using over the top words and emotions to deal with relatively mild situations, we reduce our tolerance level for crap. Two weeks ago it was reported that Katie Price was ‘appalled’ at the treatment her son received at a charity event she attended with her family. She was so disgusted she sent out a tweet; phone calls were made, representatives of both sides interviewed and ink and paper were wasted in the newspapers’ race to run the story. The appalling incident? She sat in someone else’s seat and was told to move. She was horrified because the ushers forgot her celebrity status and dared to treat her as a normal human.  I’m sure Katie has had her share of disappointments in life, some have  even happened in the public eye and are more worthy of the drama she played out at the event. When we use great big dramatic words to describe mild incidents, we raise the status of those occurrences and like a domino effect, raise our emotional response, end up being stressed, which in turn sends out negative vibes to those around us and stresses them out too.

As a result of this realisation, I have resolved to not only watch my emotions but catch my words too before they tumble out. Isn’t it funny that the phrase ‘Drama Queen’ describes one who is not queen over her own feelings? The very thought of choosing and picking what emotion to express excites me to no end. I look forward to a brand new week!

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03 Nov

Lessons from a Deathbed

I read about Brittany Maynard who sadly was given 6 months to live back in April. The 29-year-old decided she didn’t want to be a burden to her family and she chose a date to die with dignity. Now I won’t even begin to imagine how different her thought process is from ours. I get concerned about little things like the laundry being done on time or irritated that we’ve run out of milk just when I need my cuppa. She, the husband she’ll be leaving behind and death with the many questions she must have that surround the topic.

I shared the story with Jason and launched into a philosophical discussion, but it only served to confirm to him the very real weirdness of Toks. Why. Is. She. Reading. And. Talking. About. That??

Staying true to the theme of morbidity, later that day I read an article; Nurse Reveals the Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed . The  4th regret remained with me: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Here’s a portion of the nurse’s notes on that point:
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away.

All day I’ve been thinking about that last sentence. What details am I holding onto that are irrelevant? Are there hurts from my past that I keep reliving and experiencing over and over again? How about those memories I need to let go of but I choose to carry on regurgitating? Are there people in my life I need to wave goodbye to? Or dead conversations I should stop being a part of?

The physical details of life conjure up for me a picture of a person wrapped up many times over with swaddles of stuff- memories, emotions and/or materialism which is then calcified. Like a sheath, it hides who we are on the inside. We become unable to form and maintain authentic relationships. It prevents us from exercising our gifts and living life to the fullest. Have you met people that are so blessed, family, finances and even position but still cannot simply be happy?

I woke up this morning feeling slightly irritated because, amongst many things (God help me), I engaged in a dead conversation. I have this new desire for my words to be seasoned with salt so that the hearer is blessed every single time. I also don’t want to be the willing recipient of anything that does not build me up. Let’s hope that new-found feeling remains!

My prayer is that we open our eyes to let go of the stuff that hides us, so we can emerge from the cocoon free to be who our Father created us to be.

Have a blessed week!

P:S

Next Brunch date is 22nd Nov at the Bromley Court Hotel, book here

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02 Aug

Someone Else’s Prescription

Whose prescription?

I recently had the privilege of hosting a webinar for a group of working mums. It was my first webinar sitting on the other side and I enjoyed it very much. During the chat I was asked to name 3 traits that women require to be successful mumpreneurs. I think there are a number of required traits, but I don’t think all traits are required by everyone. I believe that because we are unique individuals all created in the image of God, there is no one size fits all solution or single requirement that works for all. Therefore, one useful trait to cultivate is the ability to be introspective. That way you find out what is needed in your life. You find out your strengths, weaknesses and all.

Warren Buffet has a charity that receives proceeds from an interesting source annually. Every year, an auction goes up for lunch with Mr Buffett. Last year the winning bid was $1m. This year? $2.2m. The winner gets to choose 7 friends to go out to dinner with warren and can ask him any question they like. If you had $2.2m, would you spend it on dinner with Mr Buffet?

This morning I read one of my favourite blogs and the discussion on the auction win was in full swing. The question was asked, which ‘great’ will you like to have dinner with and what questions will you ask them? As usual the comments piqued my interest more than the question itself. People listed everyone from Napoleon Hill who died gazillion years ago to Bill Gates and dead presidents. One guy listed 5 men, another caught my attention, “Warren Buffet. I will tell him to look at my life and tell me what I can change to become successful. I will ask about his daily routines, I will ask what his single key is. I will ask…” And the list of asks continued.

I felt a bit melancholy as I pictured and perceived the desperation in his voice. I know that before the age of the dispensation of the Holy Spirit,  men and women, kings and queens even came from afar to hear Solomon’s wisdom. I do also like to speak to and learn from successful and particularly wise people, but nothing beats getting a download directly from God. God ‘s advice and wisdom is customised to your personality and your particular need. There is no one size fits all solution.

Mr Buffet’s routine might not fit my lifestyle because I am wired completely differently from him. The only reason I should walk on Buffet road is if I want to arrive at Buffet’s goal. But I don’t. He no doubt has worthy goals and I admire and respect him a great deal but those are still his goals. Mine are not even closely related to his, which is why I will not be asking anyone to dispense their prescription to me. Pharmacies always warn, don’t take medicines prescribed for someone else. The other point is that wisdom and success are not the same thing.

By all means we should seek wisdom, we should ask questions we must learn and increase our knowledge. We should seek advice and not be so egotistical we think we know it all. I have a business mentor whom I admire and respect, I am glad for his input into my life. I also have trusted friends I run to for advice when needed. But we should also be careful not to leave our path to walk on someone else’s, no matter how great they are.

I’d like to know your thoughts; How can we seek wisdom from people we admire without abandoning our own path and walking on theirs?

 

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